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Kegel-icious

November 1, 2011

I love social media. I have accounts on Facebook, Google+, and Twitter that are updated regularly. When I found that I could link a Twitter account with my WordPress account and get Tweets automatically created and Tweeted when I posted a new blog entry, I immediately set it up.

There is something quite satisfying to me after posting a blog update and then seeing it instantly blasted off into the Twitterverse. When I posted my Halloween blog entry, I jumped over to Twitter to check out the WordPress generated link. I noticed that I had 5 more followers than I had an hour earlier. “Bad Ass!”, I thought. Twitter was starting to recognize it’s newest rising star and pretty soon I would be trending and would have a million followers!

Then I took a closer look at my newest followers. One is “the sex shop I can trust.” The next three had the word ‘kegel’ either in the title, user name or description. The last one seems to be a legitimate retired USPS worker and grandfather.

It boggles my mind how the spam bots on Twitter work. Do they really think that the sheer quantity of fake user accounts following me will convince me to use their kegel products? Of course they do! I’m sure this is how the conversation with myself would go if I were to give in to their kegel seductions.

“It’s Monday morning. There’s something I’m forgetting to do…oh, right! Thanks for the reminder @kegeluniverse! It’s time for my morning kegel exercises!

Now that I’m done with my exercises, I wonder what I can do to make my kegels more fun and entertaining. Wow, @moonglowbabe has the answer – 1/2 off of kegel exercise panties at pantyO.com!

Aw, thanks @kegelprincess for reminding me that tighter *is* better.

Oh, look, @edencafe has let me know about their GLBQT Eden Porn Club anniversary.

Now I need to go a sex shop I can trust for a new high torque, multi-speed, water proof dildo. @edenfantasys has me covered with a website that is powered by thousands of reviews.

What would I do without all of these great spam bots helping me do my kegels and keep me swimming in gay porn? Hooray, Internets!”

I just wish I knew what the hell a kegel *IS*.

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